Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Gogoat = new meta

Serebii's Pokémon of the Week sections are a source of endless amusement. From last weekend's article on Gogoat:

Its physical Attack and its physical movepool is just phenomenal

As a reminder, and I think you'll need it because who the hell uses Gogoat, its attack stat is 100. ONE HUNDRED. That's apparently phenomenal. Well, it is... when it's backed by Huge Power. And I'm not seeing Huge Power anywhere here. Please don't show whoever wrote this Scizor's or Garchomp's attack stats, else I think you may have blood on your hands.

And its physical movepool? Hardly phenomenal. Sure, Horn Leech is a great move, but aside from that, what does Gogoat really have? Earthquake, fine, but then you have a shitload of much less interesting moves, such as Return, Aerial Ace, Rock Slide, Wild Charge, Brick Break... nothing worth getting excited over. And the worst part about it is, the Assault Vest, which is just as popular as Leftovers, is confined to "Other Options" while the Choice Band, which you'll NEVER see on Gogoat, has its own section. What. Speaking of the Assault Vest, did I mention it forces you to use two of the "lesser" moves I mentioned earlier? When Aerial Ace of all things is part of one of your standard sets, I don't think you have any right to call your physical movepool "phenomenal". Oh, right, having Earthquake automatically makes your physical attacking prowess phenomenal. Sorry, I forgot. Sure, it's not as bad as Keldeo's special movepool (which means Keldeo would be uber if it had any kind of special movepool), but... phenomenal. Seriously.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

The dumb move so nice they did it twice?

Last year, those drooling monkeys at Nintendo decided it'd be a good idea to release LBW and SM3DW on the EXACT SAME DAY. And everyone knew it was absolutely fucking stupid. Well, it's not confirmed right now, but rumor has it they'll be doing the same thing this year (on almost the same date, no less) with ORAS and the Wii U version of SSB4. Seriously, I don't know shit about basic marketing, and even I can tell you cannibalizing your own games like that is a HORRIBLE IDEA. Goddammit Nintendo, how many years will it take for you to get your act together?

(Mandatory reminder that despite the rampant idiocy, the Wii U is still outselling the Xbox One. So what does that make the monkeys at Microsoft?)

Friday, September 12, 2014

I honestly did not expect this. No sarcasm.

So Primal Kyogre and Groudon do NOT get perma-weather as their abilities. I am genuinely surprised. Instead, what happens is that their special weather overwrites "lesser" weather conditions and cannot be overwritten by them (presumably they can still cancel each other out though). In addition to the normal effects of rain and sun, there are bonus effects which prevent Fire and Water moves respectively from doing anything - making Primal Groudon effectively immune to Water. Suddenly making it Ground/Fire is a stroke of genius, all that's missing at this point is Flare Blitz. Primal Kyogre doesn't care as much for Fire immunity, but hey, it was already vastly superior anyway, so no complaints. As for the duration, those conditions last for as long as the Primals are out, but fade away immediately upon switching out, preventing them from being as outrageously broken as they could be.

In my opinion, this is still an improvement over the regular abilities despite the potentially shorter duration, because with the weather nerf Kyogre and Groudon used their weather abilities for their own benefit much moreso than for passing it around anyway. And let's be honest, this is so much more interesting than just the return of perma-weather that it isn't even funny. Still, Kyogre didn't need the buff at all. Not even remotely close.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Hey Nintendo, up your security already.

After some people got Pokémon X/Y a week and a half early last year, you'd think they'd be more careful. Well nope. Some people already got the 3DS version of SSB4. OVER THREE WEEKS EARLY. Jesus Christ, Nintendo, get your act together. Does any other company have this much trouble withholding their games until release day? (Edit: It helps when the Japanese release is scheduled weeks earlier than everyone else, I guess...)

Anyway, the most important thing to know is that the previously leaked roster is, much to my surprise, COMPLETE. There are 48 characters in total, and yes, Dr. Mario, Dark Pit and Lucina are all far away from the rest of their series in the final configuration (as opposed to Melee and Brawl where they'd all be grouped together). And what do these characters have in common? Barring Dr. Mario's down+B and Dark Pit's Final Smash, they're our clone trio for this installment. And they were placed right before the second- and third-party characters to boot. Yep, they knew what they were doing. Very disappointed that they didn't even bother giving Dark Pit Pit's Brawl moveset, I assumed from the start that was the entire reason why they brought Dark Pit in anyway! Why wasn't he an alternate costume then? If it works for the goddamn Koopalings, it has to work for Dark Pit too!

This means Wolf, Lucas, the Ice Climbers and Snake all got the axe. (PK Freeze is a customizable move for Ness, so there's the death sentence right there.) Not sure how the 3DS couldn't handle four Ice Climbers AIs if the Gamecube could, but hey. That's assuming the technical difficulties thing was correct, anyway. And, well, we all kinda figured Snake wasn't coming back, because we would've heard about it a long time ago if he did.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

No way! I never saw this coming!

A trio of very expected mega evolutions was revealed today. Mega Gallade is one we don't know much about beyond its existence. No hints as to stat spreads and no abilities. I'm betting on a mirror image of Mega Gardevoir as far as stats go, but the ability... your guess is as good as mine.

Then we have Mega Sharpedo and Mega Camerupt, which were quite obvious seeing how they're Maxie's and Archie's aces. Mega Sharpedo gets boosts to all stats, including the useless special attack, and also snags Strong Jaw, which gives 50% extra damage to Crunch and Ice Fang. Not bad at all, but giving up Speed Boost, one of the best abilities in the game, could lead to an interesting dilemma. I like what Strong Jaw does for Sharpedo, don't get me wrong, but Speed Boost is just so good. As for Mega Camerupt, it gets a speed drop (OH NOES) and boosts everywhere else. Sheer Force is an interesting fit on it, as it powers up Flamethrower/Fire Blast, Earth Power and Ancient Power, but will it be enough to be worth a team slot? Not with that horrible 4x weakness and no Solid Rock to cover it up anymore. Good thing it literally only has one other weakness, to Ground.

Then we have some info on Primal Kyogre and Primal Groudon, though nothing we couldn't figure out before. Well, their ability names are new, but probably will change a bit with translation because of how long they are, but they're said to summon "strong rain" and "strong sunlight". Serebii says "it is not known how different this is to normal", but come on. I know, you know, everyone knows it's the return of perma-weather. Also, Groudon's new move is called Cliff's Blade (at least in Japanese), putting an end to whatever silly speculation there might have been regarding Thousand Arrows and Thousand Waves.

Edit: And Mega Gallade gets Inner Focus. Is this some kind of joke? How is it supposed to compete with Mega Medicham now?

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Do Kyogre and Groudon have naked pics on iCloud?

Because those Gamefreak devs seem to be having a huge hard-on for them. Not only do their Primal forms appear to have perma-weather and boosted stats, they also get NEW SIGNATURE MOVES. We don't know any details at the moment, but really? They stop dominating for a minute and you buff them so hard it's going to take another six gens for a new legendary to match them?

ORAS level curve down?

At least Brawly appears to have been seriously nerfed. Remember the latest trailer for ORAS? Well, for a split second, Brawly's Makuhita is seen at level 16. For reference purposes, it was level 18 in Ruby and Sapphire and level 19 in Emerald. And it's probably not because the ace is something else this time around, because CoroCoro basically confirmed Makuhita was still his ace a while back. Whether this is a one-off thing like Whitney was or a sign of a different level curve, who knows. Nerfing Whitney's levels did make sense, because not only was she the biggest That One Boss this series has ever seen, but Miltank was even given Scrappy and a Lum Berry as an added kick in the nuts. Brawly, however... much less so. And that's a three-level drop compared to Whitney's one. Definitely wondering how this'll all turn out.

Edit: Random suggestion. Remember how in Ruby and Sapphire, the Makuhita had Knock Off? Remember how it's now brutally powerful? Yeah, if we're going to fight that particular set I can see why they nerfed its level so much.

Friday, September 5, 2014

It's musical, but not mad or messy anymore.

I can't help but feel disappointed when seeing this preview for Super Mario Star Road DS. Remember how tough the original Mad Musical Mess was? Now there's random platforms everywhere, the near-instant-death trumpets now have air blowing out of them, and that star where you had to use the jumping block just right is, well, just another star now. (Not to mention Luigi's presence, but there's not much to be done about that.) Sure, the original version was hard as hell, but that's what made its charm. Cloudrail Station also appears to be less deadly, for what it's worth. Super Mario 64 DS was guilty of it to an extent too, but that's no reason to repeat Nintendo's mistakes.

I will say this, though: the new Band Land remix sounds freaking sweet. Can't take that away.