TSG Indiethon

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

The Speed Gamers' Indiethon begins this Friday!

To say I'm not very savvy when it comes to the indie scene would be a euphemism, but you know what? I don't care. TSG has a reputation for putting on a show that goes well beyond the games being presented, and I'm sure this event will be no exception. Said event was delayed by about a month for reasons I think I was told but forgot anyway, but it's finally getting underway this Friday at 7 PM Eastern, 6 PM Central, 4 PM Pacific, midnight standard time, etc. I don't think the schedule and game list have been made public yet, but I'll update this post when they do (unless I'm stupid and I just missed it, in that case please let me know!). Pretty sure Spelunky and Super Meat Boy are going to be showcased for very obvious reasons, though. Ergo, that banner above which will take you straight to TSG's new website!

Money raised during this event will go straight to Direct Relief, a name that should ring a bell among TSG fans - it's the charity that was unfortunate enough to be associated with the Star Wars marathon back in 2011. We can do better than 11k this time, right? Sure, this will only last 75 hours (unless it was a typo on TSG's front page and it's really 72 as usual), but we have all the reasons in the world to be optimistic. Our old friend Local seems to be, at least:

This event is going to be seriously crazy. I know you guys probably thinking we're just hyping, but we're not. This is the biggest and most ambitious event we've ever done and it has the potential to reach hundreds of thousands of new people.

I'm reading this over and over, and I can't help but feel my body trembling because it cannot contain the ready. Hundreds of thousands of new people... if they don't destroy the blessing of our relatively troll/idiot-free community, I can't possibly object, can I?

Monday, April 21, 2014

Samus' new boots are horrible!

I mean, only a person who trained in acrobatics normally impossible for your typical human being from a very young age would be able to do anything with THESE heels!

Oh wait...

The old eight-chapter structure

I was wondering, why do so many games that adopt a chapter structure have exactly eight chapters (barring prologues and epilogues)? It's rarely ever 6, 7, 9, 10 or any other number, most of the time it's eight. I'm not complaining, I just find it bizarre how something like this has become sort of conventional in games. Any ideas why?

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Skyrim belongs to the glitch gremlin!

I was taking a look at whether the unofficial Skyrim patches had been updated since the last time I'd updated them in late February (yeah, I have to update them manually since they're not on the Steam Workshop), when I came across this sentence in the description that I'd somehow missed or just skimmed over previously:

The goal of the Unofficial Skyrim Patch (aka USKP) is to eventually fix every bug with Skyrim not officially resolved by the developers to the limits of the Creation Kit and community-developed tools, in one easy-to-install package.

Note the words "every bug". Yeesh, talk about ambitious - we all know of Skyrim's reputation as a giant mass of glitches. But you know what? They're actually making a pretty good job of it. Look at the list of fixes they've done over the years! And the one for Dawnguard! And the one for Hearthfire! And the one for Dragonborn!

What really blows my mind is that these fixes are made by a dozen people or so, and are still doing a very thorough job of it too. They're not being paid money for it like Bethesda's staff is, they're going to all that trouble just for the rest of us to enjoy the game better. Heck, one could say they're doing a much better job than Bethesda ever did, considering the blatant stuff that never got fixed in the official patches.

Interestingly, one of these blatant bugs only got fixed very recently in the unofficial patch, which is the fact that the Black Star could previously capture any type of soul, whereas it was meant to only be able to capture the souls of NPCs. This is one of those bugs that makes you wonder "how could such an obvious issue make it to release, much less never get patched?". And yet it seems to have been a very complicated thing, because not only did the unofficial patch attempt to do something about it only recently, but their first attempt ended in failure, and as a result the Black Star couldn't capture any souls whatsoever. Luckily this was then fixed properly with a response time that can only be called amazing, coming from a dozen community members.

Of course, they can't catch and fix everything, not even gamebreaking glitches that would make a questline impossible to finish if you're playing a console version, but hey, these unofficial patches are more than good enough to make doing so... foolish, to say the least.

Edit: Speaking of terrible glitches, look what I just ran into. A staircase floating in the air, well above where it should've been. Unfortunately, this means I was stuck in a tiny area, so it was console time to get me out of there.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Wanna be trendy? Start liking Ash Ketchum!

I don't know if it's just really bad luck or something, but lately I've been seeing many apologists of the bane of every Pokémon fan with an ounce of self-respect, Ash Ketchum. Apparently we're supposed to like him because he's not some unstoppable force, but rather a relatable figure capable of showing emotion and weakness while still remaining determined and having goals to pursue. And you know what? If that description held true, there WOULD be nothing wrong about Ash.

Except for the part where it's NOT true.

Sure, early on in the show's run you could buy that, but as the seasons go on (and on and on and on and on), he makes no progress whatsoever, making him slowly de-evolve into an incompetent doofus who still has no clue what it takes to improve, or worse, DOES know what it takes but refuses to do it because of some invariably inane bullshit. And his infamously middling *coughcough* track record at evolving Pokémon isn't all there is to it, even when any normal person would've said "fuck it" and shoved a Thunder Stone up Pikachu's ass if necessary. His marketing-required team reboot at the start of every generation didn't help, either - in fact, it may be the worst offender, as the one time Ash legitimately looked like a force was when he had almost every Pokémon he's ever had on hand (including a lot of fully-evolved Pokémon to boot). Of course the outcome was history, he was eventually stopped by a bunch of legendaries shamefully low-grade writing, even by the show's scrubbish standards.

But I'm just rambling on. Point is, he's had 17 years to show some improvement, and at the end of the day he always stays near square one. Weakness stops being weakness and turns into something much worse when you never learn from what you did wrong. As for being relatable... well, I can't argue against that. If you identify with him, then what does that make you?

Still, why are all the pro-Ash zombies coming out of their caves now? Is it because Smogon's ladder is so flooded with casuals that they can actually perform decently well using nutty garbage like Eviolite Slowbro, Hyper Beam Sylveon and Ash-based teams by beating the enormous amount of similarly rubbish players, leading them to believe the old doctrine of fighting with your favorites, treating your Pokémon with love and care and all that sappy rhetoric is the key to victory? Is it because some people were outraged by that one picture that had shots of Legend of Thunder, Pokémon Origins and the mega evolution special, that said that all you needed to make a good Pokémon anime was removing Ash, and every brainless sheep who thought they were making good points followed suit?

Either way, that won't change anything for me. Ash Ketchum sucked back then, he sucks now, and he'll suck forever.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Why is Gamespot still a thing?

Not long ago, I criticized an embarassingly wrong editorial about FF10 that was published on that site. Clearly that wasn't enough, because then THIS happened. Because checking sources is overrated. Quality journalism is for pussies! At least wait UNTIL Telltale has gotten back to you to write something about it, because now you just look like the biggest morons ever. Just looking at the GIF, you can already figure out that the odds of it being a genuine glitch and not a mod made by a prankster are pretty freaking low.

The biggest scandal in Canada's history

At least that's the way it sounds like, given what I've been hearing on TV over the last week. Only one Canadian team qualified for the NHL playoffs. Give me a break with the postmortems. I don't even want to imagine what it would've been like had Carey Price not been there to make it at least one Canadian team. At least the playoffs begin tomorrow, so maybe they'll move on to something else then.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Another middle finger from an event Pokémon

CoroCoro has revealed the details on the Diancie that's going to be distributed with the movie. No special moves it can't learn otherwise, as expected, however it's the item it holds that's... insulting, to say the least. It's a Normal Gem. It makes sense that it'd be a gem, considering that's Diancie's entire gimmick and all, but... a NORMAL Gem? The only one that's already available? Why not, say, the Flying one, which several Pokémon would have a use for? We already know Diancie's going to be totally worthless, so at least they could've sweetened the deal a little bit, but no, of course we can't have that.