Monday, March 23, 2015

Wind Waker hacking goes bananas

Meet Grandma's new pets!

Thanks to Macrepeh for showing me this.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Where were you when Tumblr started defending ISIS?

I wish I was kidding. Tumblr truly will white knight anyone who's not a straight white male.

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Look up "storm drain" on Google.

What the hell how does this even happen.

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

GameFAQs will let anything on the front page these days.

And I'm not just talking about the popular forum threads section. I'm talking about shit like this. "Creative" Pokémon names? In what alternate universe does the author live? These aren't "creative", they aren't "really good names" like the final paragraph wants you to swallow... in fact, they're some of the WORST! They suck so much even a black hole couldn't escape them! What about Milotic? Ampharos? Ariados?

Sunday, March 15, 2015

The PotW writers must be doing it on purpose.

Regular Camerupt can be a decent tank with 75/70/70 defenses (which are actually 70/70/75, they can't even get the stats right!)? Are you shitting me? No one can be this dumb, please tell me that's impossible. Oh wait, they actually reiterate and emphasize that bit in the positives/negatives section. And the bit according to which standard Camerupt isn't useless? Bitch pls. Mega Camerupt is useless, and it still sweeps circles around its regular form (both in terms of attack power and because it looks like a Roomba). Gotta love how they legitimately hype up Heat Wave as a legitimate option in singles, too. If you learn either Flamethrower or Fire Blast, Heat Wave is automatically useless. Then Eruption is suggested for Mega Camerupt as a move to use in Trick Room. Seriously? It gets an ability that powers up Flamethrower and Fire Blast but not Eruption, and you still want us to use the latter? How about no? Rock Polish is also listed as an option to give both Camerupt and Mega Camerupt "respectable" (their word, not mine) speed. I don't know about you, but when I use Agility, Rock Polish, and to a lesser extent Dragon Dance, I expect to be able to outspeed virtually everything after one boost. Regular Camerupt is a good bit faster than the mega form, and after a Rock Polish your standard set is going to have 232 speed. That's not even enough to outspeed an Adamant base 70 Pokémon with max speed. Mega Camerupt, which is far better, has it even worse.

You know where that damn column belongs? Right here.

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Suspect test Stalmaster pls.

I was really looking forward to trying out the Ganon's Fury mode in HW's last DLC, but of course they had to make it ridiculously hard. One guy on GameFAQs assembled a pretty helpful list of tips for Ganon, and he A-ranked the last mission at level 89. Keep in mind, there are only ten missions, so there's a shitload of grinding involved. And here there's no dojo, no MQ bottom left, no divisive plan missions, no nothing. Just good old-fashioned elbow grease. Yikes. But the worst part is, someone claims to have been OHKOed from full health by a Stalmaster sword throw. GANON DIES IN ONE HIT TO A STALMASTER. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON. Don't you wish Zelda games were this easy? Just throw your sword, instant win.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Ladies and gentlemen, the greatest site on the internet.

It dates from last century, but there was indeed no way to go but down after this. Make sure to check out their FAQ. Hysterical stuff.

Suck it, Wizzro.

Turns out Hyrule Warriors' MM map is a nightmare too, sometimes at least. I just basically got forced into using the god mode (read: permanent item power-up) potion on a few missions in the Snowhead area. There's one in particular where you have to fight an inappropriately overpowered Wizzro - my level 77 Midna takes THIRTEEN HEARTS worth of damage if she's unfortunate enough to fall for his grab attack, and his neverending waves of projectiles can take off a good five or six too. The Mask of Truth is about as useful as tits on a snake, too - what the game doesn't tell you is that its effect lasts TWO MINUTES, not the whole battle like the tutorial pretends.

So what does one do when pushed to these extremes? Take it out on a whole bunch of Wizzros, of course. I did the Rupee contest mission just south of Clock Town to get a bomb, and it turned out to be the funniest thing ever. The greats hordes of Wizzros would just gravitate around me and get slaughtered. And when that happens, you steal some money from them, too. The end result? This. I know my result isn't super amazing, especially since I was doing it without the Rupee potion, but the AI getting such a miserable result is something I never expected, especially since I didn't go out of my way to kill the Wizzros or anything. Not pictured: the eight Wizzro robes I got, or me getting an A-rank despite getting straight up in the face of enemies that don't flinch when you attack them.